Build Your Own Secret Tel Aviv Post!
Hi Secret Tel Aviv! I want to
Buy
film
steal
fix
Sell
Hire
Learn
Clean
exchange
Stalk
Order
Eat
Marry
work for
vent about
Donate
Smuggle through Ben Gurion
lease
cook
Identify
Sleep With
Move
Model
film
Sublet
Complain about
Date
Rent
swap
ask out
Surf
return
my local juice vendor
An escaped ostrich in Jerusalem
a computer from the '90's
"Keeping Olim in Israel"
The owner of the men's underwear that I found in my laundry
your mom
Swedish girls on holiday
the shuk
The balloon above the yarkon
the Danish girl who posted a video on Secret Tel Aviv about apartment hunting
Holmes Gym
medical marijuana
several cats that live behind the AM/PM
The mold in my shower
Israeli men
A Lone Soldier
My apartment
The Street Person On Allenby By King George with Face Tats and Sequined Skinny Jeans
a broken Iphone 4
twin sisters looking for an apartment
a tarantula in my kitchen
my ex girlfriend
the lifeguard on Gordon beach
The guy who lies in the Dizangoff Square Fountain
cupcakes
a bikini I bought online
Matisyahu tickets
a half a bottle of Arak
the Tachanah Merkezit
used cosmetics
a used pair of Uggs
a sweater for my pet chicken
FOREX options
but the problem is
Secret Secret Secret Tel Aviv said some hurtful things about my cat
Your roommates are idiots
I lost my Rav Kav
Cofix asked me to leave
Nefesh B'Nefesh keeps sexting me
Secret Tel Aviv keeps blocking me
The buses stop running Friday afternoon
I'm allergic to hummus
Biggie Z's makes me claustrophobic
I can't get the tahini out of my chest hair
The Norwegian exchange student filed a restraining order
The Misrad HaPnim only accepts faxes
Dizzy Frisch says that I "made a scene"
My Girlfriend's Therapist says that I'm "An Enabler"
(Random complaint about the French)
Yaffo is really far
The seats on the green bikes make my butt hurt
My boyfriend keeps asking me to dress up like a Sem Girl
Jonny won't give me a Secret Tel Aviv card
My pet rabbit ran away
somebody on Secret Tel Aviv called me a racist
Hot Cable Froze my Bank Account
our dogs don't get along
My Vaad Bayit hates me
Can somebody help me
steal my bike back
tell me where the Shuk is
jailbreak my IPhone
Get a job in Binary
break up with my boyfriend over Skype
convert to Judaism
Move to Florentin
translate something into Spanish
Sell your futon
Locate a rave dance party that offers babysitting
hit on your neighbor
Find a Masorti Shul
Sneak across the border to Aqaba
Fix my Dud Shemesh
Hide my bank account
Escape from My Birthright Tour
Quit Bezeq
grow a hipster beard
Sue my landlord
build a new dog park near the Shuk
Find a Yoga Class
Find a sweater for a pet chicken
grow a Jewfro
tell me the bus schedule for tomorrow
get free Internet
Asking for a friend
Asking for a friend
Asking for a friend
Asking for a friend
Asking for a friend
Asking for a friend
Asking for a friend